Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Advertisement
by ilovechibis
Summary: Setting up a studio. Gathering the cast. Barely being able to afford the unforgivable cost. A Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Advertisement Commercial is born!  Script-written


**KATEKYOU HITMAN REBORN! AD**

* * *

><p>REBORN<br>Action!

Reborn shoots his gun.

The theme song: "Ran, Ran, Ran, Byakuran" plays.

SQUALO  
>VOI!<p>

FRAN  
>Well done, sempai, we got their attention.<p>

Squalo shoves the Frog-Head back.

SQUALO  
>VONGOLA GEARS! THE MOST FASHIONABLE ACCESSORIES!<p>

TSUNA  
>(Naturally girly squeak)<br>Hiiiii!

SQUALO  
>THAT'S RIGHT! VOI!<p>

TSUNA  
>(Naturally girly squeak)<br>HIIIII!

FRAN  
>Sempai, why do you sound so obnoxious and angry?<p>

Mukuro stabs Fran's hat with a trident.

MUKURO  
>Quiet, little one, this is a method of advertising. Kufufufufu...<p>

* * *

><p>Ryohei<br>BOX WEAPONS! BUY THEM AND YOU GET A FREE MATCHING RING! AN EXTREMELY GREAT BARGAIN!

FRAN  
>(Blankly)<br>Hell rings are only available online. You get free marshmallows from Byakuran if you order from now until next...

He watches Byakuran eats his marshmallows.

FRAN  
>... Hour.<p>

Ryohei takes in deep breath, but as that happened Gokudera punches him away from the stage.

Gokudera  
>Vongola Rings aren't for sale!<p>

The casts that actually bothered to care about the ad spoke amongst themselves, trying to figure out a way to continue the ad. After 'serious discussions', Fran was pushed in front of Gokudera.

FRAN  
>Ah... Vongola Rings are special collections so... They're unavailable.<br>(Whisper) Just like all the things we own...

REBORN  
>Cue finishing catchphrase!<p>

SQUALO  
>VOI!<p>

* * *

><p>Xanxus, who stayed seated on his chair, is placed onto the stage. In irritation, he aims his gun to the organiser of the stage... which happens to be Enma.<p>

XANXUS  
>I'll kill you, scum!<p>

While Enma hides, Dino frantically skims over the script.

DINO  
>That's not right! He's supposed to say...<br>Er... That's not right either.

Reborn looks over to his own script.

REBORN  
>No, it's right. He's supposed to say: 'Buy or I'll kill you, scum!'<br>He forgot the 'buy or' bit. Oh, well. Next!

FRAN  
>(Blank and fast)<br>Warning: merchandised are not actually for sale because the items mentioned are currently owned...  
>Can you stop telling me what to do now, Bel-sempai?<p>

Bel drops the script and grins.

BEL  
>Ushishishi.<p>

MAMMON/VIPER  
>Do we make money out of this advertisement?<p>

FRAN  
>Nope.<p>

The boy blinks, realisation strikes.

FRAN  
>Wait, if Mammon is here, why am I still wearing this stupid hat?<p>

* * *

><p>- Part Two: The Hidden Sale<p>

Fran yells out from his microphone.

FRAN  
>FROG HAT FOR SALE!<p>

BEL  
>What the... Don't sell it, you idiot!<p>

FRAN  
>But Mammon's here so I don't have to wear this stupid hat<p>

He tries to pull his frog hat off but Bel launches his knives at his hat to stop.

BEL  
>You wouldn't dare.<p>

He prepared more knives and holds them up.  
>Fran challengingly stares at Bel and slowly holds microphone up back to his mouth.<p>

FRAN  
>BUY YOUR FROG HAT NOW AND YOU GET FREE KNIVES FROM THE FALLEN PRINCE!<br>BUY NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND THE CREEPY CHESHIRE CAT STEALS IT BACK!

Reborn holds up his microphone.

REBORN  
>CUE BEL'S KNIVES<p>

FRAN  
>Kero.<p>

* * *

><p>Tsuna was pushed into the stage by the Acrobalenos.<p>

TSUNA  
>(Stutter)<br>Er... Acrobaleno Pacifiers... B-buy them now and...

Bel gets pushed away by Tsunomichi; the script changes.

TSUNA  
>... You get a free Leon- HIII!<p>

Reborn's eyes squints with killer intentions.

* * *

><p>SPANNER<br>Uh... Thank you for watching the REBORN Advertisement. You shall be rewarded by...  
>(Pause) Strawberry-flavoured spanner-shaped lollipops..?<p>

SHOUICHI  
>Wait!<p>

He adjusts glasses for awesome effects to show that he's in charge.

SHOUICHI  
>Is this still advertising? Was it even in the script that Spanner is giving away his lollipops?<p>

Byakuran drops the script and walks away with marshmallows and spanner-lollipops.

* * *

><p>REBORN<br>Cut!

Belphagor slashes on the stage.

SHOUICHI  
>What you do that for?<p>

BEL  
>I got bored and annoyed. Plus...<p>

He points at Reborn.

BEL  
>He said cut.<p>

SHOUICHI  
>Varias are... Scary...<p>

Fran is wearing a miner costume. He approached Shoichi and taps him on the shoulder.

FRAN  
>By the way...<p>

The whole Varia, with the exception of Xanxus as he stayed seated, stands on the destroyed stage.

FRAN  
>The place is "scheduled" to be demolished. Please, evacuate to safe your life.<p>

SHOUICHI  
>But the ad is not finished yet!<p>

* * *

><p>MAMMONVIPER  
>Wait! So we really don't get anything from this?<p>

FRAN  
>Nope. But we are rewarded with self-satisfaction.<p>

XANXUS  
>(Roar)<br>SELF-SATISFACTION, MY ASS!

He relentlessly throws glasses at Squalo.

SQUALO  
>VOI! WHAT THE HELL?<p>

* * *

><p><strong>KATEKYOU HITMAN REBORN!<strong>

Credits:

Creator: Amano Akira  
>Director: Reborn<br>Assistant Director: Irie Shouichi

Cast: The whole KHR characters  
>(Apologies. The Varia destroyed the studio)<p>

Person-that-interrupted-half-of-the-ad: Fran

Abuser: "ilovechibis"

Hosts: Sasagawa Ryohei; Sawada Tsunayoshi; FRAN; Squalo

Script Writer: "ilovechibis"  
>Co-Script Writer: Dino<br>Script Holder: Belphagor  
>Co-Script Holder: Byakuran; Tsunomichi<p>

Catchphrases/signature reflexes by: their respective owners.

Theme Song(s): "Ran, Ran, Ran, Byakuran" composed by Byakuran

Thanks to/All rights reserved: Katekyou Hitman Reborn characters and Amano Akira

Warning: Hooray, parody!


End file.
